I was born and raised in a country that is traditionally oriental, very conservative and patriarchal. Do you know what Vietnam was like 30 years ago?
BDSM Journey 1: How Do I Become A Mistress?
It was a country of patriarchal bureaucracy. Men always decided everything in the family, including things relating to their women. I was just a child at that time, but I was very observant.
Women in my grandparents and my parents’ days were not very educated. My grandmother said: Women at that time seemed to have only one right which was taking care of their families! Because the society emphasizes male rights,so in ordinary families, only men could go to school. Maybe it was different for rich people. But I was not lucky to be born rich. My grandmother worked hard to support my grandfather in school.
Women in my childhood memories were terribly modest. There was no such things like tank tops! Sometimes when it was too hot, she rolled up her sleeves a bit but her husbands punish her when he saw that . Yes, it was normal for a woman to be abused by her husband at that time. And the service of her husband and her children was considered her duty.
My grandmom said that she used to have very beautiful long black hair. When they ran out of food in their house, she cut her hair and sold it in exchange for food. Her husband found it out and he beat her up.. My mother witnessed all these miserable things. She did not want to accept the fate like my her mom. Hence, she would rather stay single than to be married. At the time, girls got married very early, when they were 15 or 16. But my mom was 18.
Several years later, my mom met my dad, they fell in love and got married. Although my father was less patriarchal than the men at the time, he still carried the old-fashioned ideas of ‘men are masters’. My mother was more of a feminist, so many times my parents had a conflict. And the gap between them was bigger and bigger.
However, in the society, people were quite afraid of divorce because of their children so even though their marriage was not happy, they would just bare each other and live an unhappy life with the excuse ‘For the children”? Did they ever realize that the tragedy they created from that endurance disturbed your children?
I grew up like that. Therefore, I always told myself I would never go into the footsteps of my parents. My life, my destiny, are determined by Me and only Me!
(to be continued)