Went to a massage place where all massage people were blinded. It was my first time. After relaxing my feet in herbal water, the first impression was a group of happy people who have never got to see the life with their eyes. I was pretty amazed they could be that positive. One of the woman took me to a small single room. I removed my clothes. It was also the first time that I was naked in front of a stranger in both literal and deep meanings. I didn’t talk during the session. The only way she could connect with me is through touching. She was quite sensitive enough to feel vulnerable parts of my body which even my blood parents never noticed. Then she worked more on them for a treatment. When she massage my head, she was imagining how I looked with her touching. Right at the moment it touched my heart. She was definitely attractive beyond her look. I really felt that she enjoyed taking care of me and making me feel better. She didn’t make me feel sorry for her but admire her. Life was suddenly so beautiful. After the massage, my body felt much lighter and more relaxing. Thanks Goddess for bringing me there. I will come back for sure to support them as I was meant to.
I found myself shopping again which is usually my choice while being moody. My mind was full of thoughts. I was walking physically with my soul floating above.Who am I? Where am I from? Why am I on Earth? How many people do talk to their hearts? They usually let their rational mind hurt themselves and bother others for their egoistic purposes. They don’t have a single right to do so. And lack of responsibilities they go on ahead living in their shadows. They would never find a ‘home’ where they truly feel the happiness. I miss my home sometimes where I could live with no boundary, no jealousy and no burdens. If there were such human form aliens, I would be one.
My performance came. The moment I stepped on the stage, all my thoughts were immediately gone. Only my songs and I were there. I raised my voice. Music connects people. I was sending my heart to audiences. Felt a few drops of tears going down to my cheeks. There was a fight between my heart and my mind. Hearty wanted to cry but mindy wanted to sing. “All I want to do is find a way back into love”. I knew from my heart I would not be able to both cry and keep up with my voice. By instinct my left hand was cuddling my shoulder and my mouth was speaking the song’s lyrics instead of singing them. I let myself tearful. When it felt enough, I came back to my singing without missing any melodies. It was the most beautiful cooperation of the heart and mind. They made a great team. I wish I could hide in a corner and cry like a baby but life is still going on.